Looking for Redemption & Restitution 602pc
Pacific Park
I thought we entered from the right, but there doesn't seem to be a door there. Entered through a door or window. SMH
Why?
Because July 5th, 2022 will be my 40th AA Anniversary & if you continue to work the steps to clean house things you missed in your first step will arise; at least for me. I am remembering things but processing them differently. Do I think these admissions and restitutions will be the deal breaking between going to hell or heaven? Nope. But, I did make a commitment to myself, AA, & G_d that I would do whatever it took not to drink ever .... again!
For some reason, I am seeing things in a different light. For example, my focus, with the Pacific Park log cabin after hours entry, was that I talked my way out of a situation, instead of illegal entry and trespassing. I need to make good with 5.0 and Parks & Rec; it's not funny to me ... and my kids would've have never, ever done something like this. And there you are. I'm waiting for a call back from Parks and Rec to hear if there is a BMC and take it from there.
When I say that I don't lie to police and am not a lawbreaker, I want it to be true. I only care about my performance on earth for myself and G_d. My sobriety is important to me, PERIOD!
Though in some cases we cannot make restitution at all, and in some cases action ought to be deferred, we should nevertheless make an accurate and really exhaustive survey of our past life as it has affected other people.
2.
3.
There will be those to whom we can make only partial restitution, lest complete disclosures do them or others more harm than good.
4.
While the purpose of making restitution to others is paramount, it is equally necessary that we extricate from an examination of our personal relations every bit of information about ourselves and our fundamental difficulties that we can.
5.
The Importance Of Step 4 In The 12 Steps Of AA
The purpose of Step 4, “made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves”, is to begin to determine the root cause of one’s drinking, identify any weaknesses that may have contributed to alcoholism, and understand personal strengths that can help support the person with their self-discovery and recovery in the 12-step program. Through this moral inventory, the alcoholic will uncover negative thoughts, emotions, and actions that have contributed to the spiraling of their addiction, as well as direct their attention from blaming others to seeing their part in problems created. This step requires humility and rigorous honesty, as being truthful with oneself will be the blueprint for success with sobriety.
This moral inventory will examine tendencies toward:
Resentments/anger
Fear
Pride
Self-will
Self-pity
Guilt and shame
Relationships
Sex/abuse
Personal weaknesses and strengths (assets)
Because this step is so thorough in its quest to discover underlying secrets that have kept the addict/alcoholic bounded in shame, regret, anger/resentment, etc. (therefore, increasing the chance of the user staying in a vicious cycle of drinking/using drugs to cope), it is essential that the user be willing to expose all secrets they may have been holding onto through this step. While this may seem daunting, the process of releasing these secrets have proven to be quite healing for the user. Keeping secrets to ourselves, however, proves to destroy a person’s mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. That is why taking a thorough moral inventory in Step 4 can be one of the most essential ways to produce lasting sobriety.
So, in looking at what I did & needing to do financial amends, my problem stems from my grandma telling me that I was perfect and that no one or anything was too good for me. For so many years, I just assume that everyone knows I am a good person and therefore should not be held accountable for lying to an officer and trespassing. What the fuck was I thinking? I don't know, but better late than never.
I also stole clothes from a store and made restitution to them & in high school I graffitied big time and designed a project for my ESL students that cost me well over $500. Here's what's left;
1. A financial lie to my dad.-- I'll have to consult with another AA member
2. A financial thing with a past friend. -- I know the right thing to do
Is there anything else from my past; prolly not, because when I converted for Mike, I went through a similar process with my sponsor and then yearly for Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah.
I will not, under any circumstances apologize to 5.0 for my posts or memes, not when they've lied to justify their actions towards me and my kids. Nope!
... to be cont
I did some research and it looks like breaking & entering is 459pc but would not be assigned if there was no intent to steal [we were just messing around] [as I type this I am so embarrassed] that said, a 459pc can also be reduced too a 602pc, which is trespassing.
We didn't break anything to get in, had no burglary tools, there was no intent to steal and we did not use force to enter. But it is against the law and of course I immediately think about 76, 626, & my kids especially when I have patted myself on the back [for 50 years] for successfully lying to the officer who caught us. Jesus, I still remember what I had on.
I looked at the fine for a 602pc in California ...
Penalties
Trespassing under California Penal Code Section 602.8 PC is an infraction that is punishable by a fine. This offense occurs when a defendant willfully enters the land of another without permission and the land is enclosed by a fence or has “no trespassing” signs posted.
Criminal trespass is a misdemeanor and is punishable up to 6 months in jail &/or $1000.
When it's an infraction the penalty is a small fine; $75 [Infraction – In some situations, a person charged with criminal trespass may only face an infraction, which is punishable by a $75 fine for a first offense, and a $250 fine for a second offense (if it occurs on the same land).]
So I will send the BPOA $75 next month and if PD wants to enter the charge into my file, that's more than fine ... it's part of my history and a fine example of what happens when you drink.
... More on Step 9 "making amends to those listed in Step 4"
What is Step 9 in AA?
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
What is the Purpose of Step 9 in AA?
The 9th step in AA is about making amends. You must do so regardless of the consequences.
Amends could end a relationship. You could go to jail, face a significant fine, or suffer other serious consequences. It doesn’t matter.
To complete this step, you must be willing to admit to and face the consequences of your past.
Many AA participants find that dividing the list created in the eighth step helps in their approach to step 9.
These categories are:
People to whom you can make full amends as soon as you are sober
People to whom you can make partial amends because full amends cause more harm than good
People to whom you should make amends after making a full recovery
People to whom it is impossible to make full amends
Generally, AA participants should aim to make full amends as early as possible. But only as long as it causes no additional harm.
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
“The readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.”– Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 83
At this point in our step work we may be trudging the road to happy destiny, but we’ve reached the point where we must repair what we left behind us on a path of shattered relationships. As active addicts and alcoholics, we likely lied, cheated, or stole in order to get, use (and hide using) our drug of choice… because addiction creates absolute moral wreckage.
Step Nine of AA Alcoholics Anonymous is the perfect time to let go of the horrible way we feel about our past and to radically repair relationships. In my experience, walking around with the weight of amends that need to be taken care of really sucks. More importantly, living with the left over guilt and shame from past wrongdoings prevents us from moving forward and puts us at risk for using again!
You’ve probably already discovered that by staying clean and sober and by working the Twelve Steps of AA that things are getting better. That’s because we are getting better. Becoming a ”better person” means that we are less willing to engage in destructive behaviors, mostly because we are aware of how much they cost us in human misery. That self-centeredness is replaced by an awareness of other people, and instead of being indifferent, we begin to care. Where we were selfish, we begin to be selfless. Where we were angry, we begin to be forgiving.
BREAKING DOWN STEP NINE OF AA ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
So what is Step Nine of AA Alcoholics Anonymous? Step Nine is that biggie step, the one we likely have created some anxiety over because it involves making amends.
It is suggested that we make direct amends to people whenever possible. What does that mean? There are three kinds of amends:
Direct Amends – taking personal responsibility for your actions and confronting the person who you would like to reconcile with.
Indirect Amends – finding ways to repair damage that cannot be reversed or undone by doing things like volunteering and helping others.
Living Amends – when you show others as well as yourself that you have made a genuine lifestyle change and are making a commitment to yourself and those that you have hurt that you will & have discarded your previous destructive behaviors.
Breaking Down Step Nine of AA Alcoholics Anonymous
We have already begun making amends to ourselves by changing some of our behaviors, attitudes and beliefs. The part of the amends process whereby we change ourselves has an effect on everyone around us and goes on long after we’ve spoken directly to someone we have harmed.
When it comes to making amends to others, there are usually a lot of fears and expectations involved. We may be afraid about making financial amends, or afraid of rejection, retaliation and a host of other doubtful outcomes. However, making amends doesn’t always have to be a nerve-racking, dreadful or joyless experience. In fact, maybe you’ll find that you feel excited about the possibility of healing a relationship or happily anticipating the relief you will feel after having made a particularly scary amends or even paying off a debt. There is freedom that is gained by cleaning up the past, a freedom to live peacefully in the present.
To keep things as simple as possible, you can get your head in the game by focusing on the purpose of the Ninth Step. Keep in mind the three concepts or “The Three R’s” of the Ninth Step that are associated with making amends:
Restoration, Resolution and Restitution.
Restoration means bringing something back to its former state, usually things that have been damaged. This can mean restoring our reputations, and even restoring trust in a relationship.
Resolution as recovering addicts, means we likely have past experiences that plague us or disturb us in some way. Finding a resolution to these problems means coming up with answers and solutions and laying them to rest.
Restitution as it relates to the Ninth Step is the act of returning something material (or abstract) to its rightful owner.
Our sponsors can help us explore each of these concepts so that we gain perspective on the nature of our specific amends and stay focused on what we’re supposed to be doing. The key is that we keep the focus on ourselves and our “side of the street,” so to speak.
Even though we may be eager to rip the Band-Aid off and get an amend over and done with, it’s important that we are not impulsive or careless as we attempt to make amends! Some thought and planning needs to go into it for the best possible outcome. On the flipside of the same AA coin, it is equally important that you don’t procrastinate making amends. Why? Because, based on experience, many recovering individuals have relapsed when they allowed their fears to keep them from doing Step Nine. Dr. Bob, one of our original founders could not stay sober until he went around town and made amends to all those he had hurt.
As with all of our previous step work, it’s important to be realistic: Completing your Ninth Step cannot be neatly contained within a particular time frame. We don’t finish our Eighth Step list and then immediately start crossing off “completed” amends like we would for items on a shopping list. In fact, some of our amends may never be done and our efforts may continue throughout our recovery. The truth is, that every day that we make an effort to refrain from hurting our families, friends, co-workers and even strangers- and try to practice loving behavior with them, is a day when we’ve continued our amends. Even such seemingly concrete amends as paying a past-due debt aren’t necessarily done once and for all when the debt is paid off. Continuing to pay off debts, refraining from lying, stealing or cheating will be an ongoing Ninth Step practice in our lives.
THE NINTH STEP: WHEN TO DO SO WOULD CAUSE HARM
Life is complicated and not always straightforward or black and white. Therefore some Step Nine amends may take a little creativity and patience. Working this stepshould never lead to the further harm of others.
There may be times when approaching another person directly or seeking to provide restitution could be painful or harmful for that person. For example, there may be a situation where the person (or people) we’ve harmed are not aware of what we did, and learning about it might possibly harm them even more. Or there could be situations that were complicated by other addicts, or accusations of stealing more than just money. There are so many kinds of situations and they all need to be taken into consideration on an individual basis.
Again, our sponsor can help us decide how best to handle each one. They can help us check our motives for wanting to tell people about our addiction or for apologizing. You may want to ask yourself if that person really needs to know? And if so, what good purpose would be served by sharing such information?
When discussing our amends list with our sponsors, if we are open-minded, we can start to think about these kinds of situations in ways we haven’t thought about them before. In fact we usually discover that what we first thought was the obvious method of making amends, might not be right after all.
STEP NINE SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES: ALWAYS A GOOD DAY FOR HUMBLE PIE
“Humility leads to strength and not to weakness. It is the highest form of self-respect to admit mistakes and make amends for them.”– John. J. McCloy
Breaking Down Step Nine of AA Alcoholics Anonymous
Humility is the freedom from pride or arrogance and having the quality or state of being humble. In the Ninth Step, we will focus on the spiritual principles of humility, forgiveness and love.
We gain humility as a result of taking a good look at the damage we did to others (and ourselves) and accepting responsibility for it. After acknowledging to ourselves what we’ve done, we take responsibility for making it right. There is nothing quite like experiencing increased humility while making amends in your Ninth Step and recognizing the self-empowerment and self-love that comes with it.
While doing our amends and experiencing being forgiven, we begin to see the value in extending it to others. It feels good to practice forgiveness and just let go of resentment! Positive reinforcement is a great motivator to practice the spiritual principle of forgiveness as much as possible. By forgiving others we start to recognize our own humanness, and it gives us the capacity to be less judgmental than we were in the past. We become aware that since we usually mean well, we can extend that belief to others. It’s interesting to note, that when someone does actually harm us, we’ve learned that holding resentments only serves to rob us of our own peace and serenity, so we tend to forgive them sooner rather than later. It’s good stuff.
Practicing the spiritual principle of love is something we’ve been doing throughout our recovery just by staying clean and sober. By Step Nine, we’ve eliminated many of the destructive attitudes, perspectives and feelings we used to have, which makes room for love in our lives. As we become filled with love, we find the need to share it in the form of nurturing our relationships, building new ones and by selflessly sharing our recovery, our time and our resources with others in need.
Guilt and shame are the unnecessary chains that bind us to our past. By practicing these spiritual principles we can break those chains and achieve the freedom from our addiction that we have yearned for.
I’m sure you’ve heard that the steps are written in a specific order for a reason. That reason is that each step provides the spiritual preparation we’ll need for the following steps. This is so blatantly apparent in the Ninth Step. Never in a million years would we ever have imagined during our using days that we would one day be able to sit down with the people we’ve harmed and make direct amends! This would not be possible without the spiritual preparation we received from the previous steps.
If we had not done the work in the first eight steps, we wouldn’t now have a foundation on which to stand while we make our amends. If we had not developed a relationship with a Higher Power, we wouldn’t now have the faith and trust that we definitely need to work Step Nine! If we had not done our Fourth and Fifth Steps, we would probably still be so confused about our own personal responsibility, we wouldn’t know specifically what we’re making amends for. If we hadn’t developed humility in the Sixth and Seventh Steps we’d likely approach our amends with self-righteousness, blame or anger. Our Eighth Step list was our practical preparation for working Step Nine. As we go into this step we must remember to stay connected to a higher power and have faith that the previous eight steps have prepared us to work the Ninth Step.
Hear, hear!
... equivalent ...
Rosh Hashanah commemorates the creation of the world and marks the beginning of the Days of Awe, a 10-day period of introspection and repentance that culminates in the Yom Kippur holiday, also known as the Day of Atonement. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the two “High Holy Days” in the Jewish religion.
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