Bunny's Personal Bag of Goodies

I was trying to remember when I became so competitive and recalled my grandma telling me, from the time I started working, no matter what wage I was making, "Is that all?" "That's not very much" "You can do better".  For most of my life I held this woman in high regard, but she, like others in my family, had an agenda. Probably why I turned to '75 for help. My grandma was priming me to take care of her and wanted me to make the most money possible. Wow. She even told me to make sure there was a bedroom for her if I ever purchased a house. To put one myth to rest; she gave me money. Her exact words, that she had a will and would rather that I also get money, but could not figure me in with her four kids, and did not want her other 8 grandkids to find out she favored me. Little did I know she was keeping a journal and writing other things. Jesus! The final reveal for me, was when she took down all my AA stickers off the fridge because my aunt and unc...

                  The Fuckening                        Should've just flushed the $$ I needed to get away from the police and from those that harass me everyday, so I planned a trip up the coast, to reflect, and enjoy some macaroni and cheese, in white sauce. Well, big mistake. Every city, it seems, were places I and Mike took the kids. I should just say me, because his opinion was that, they could wait until they were older, worked, and could pay for their own trips; oh yea Derek, that was ya boi. We've taken the kids to Oxnard, Ventura, Solvang, Buellton, Santa Barbara, Lompoc, Goleta, Carpinteria, Morro Bay, San Luis Obispo, Carmel, Pismo, Monterey ... the entire trip was depressing, not to mention the train being out of food along with being assigned a pre-occupied seat. Mike and I used to chat about retiring to Morro Bay after the kids moved out; the entire time he was lying to ...

 Gone My life My ability to work My family My friends My kids Intellectual convos with people Not being in excruciating, daily pain The luxury of being able to sleep 8 hours Drinks and foods without drugs Respect from others People wanting me around A day without harassment or gas lighting .... gone